At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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