as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
