I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
