i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
