everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
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I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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