you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
