Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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