If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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