just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize