I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize