THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
