i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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