i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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