I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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