There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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