Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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