I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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