The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
