New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"