She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
