I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
