I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
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i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Houston, we have a blender
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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