Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
