just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
