I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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