Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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