apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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