Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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