hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize