it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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