party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida