you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.