I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off