Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
the raccoons are back...
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