Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize