we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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