I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
