Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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