and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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