So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize