Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
