you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
