You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
