I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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