I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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