so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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