the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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