so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
