Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
