sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2