So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too