I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon