The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
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I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.