do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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