I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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